Beyonce is a megastar of the highest order.  She’s the reigning queen of pop music and the mistress of touring, rivalled only by Taylor Swift.

Now she’s following in Swift’s footsteps, so to speak.  Her newest endeavor, a country album, was released and started moving up the charts briefly.  That is, until even the most fervent Beyoncehead took a step back.

A collective “BeyonCE WHAT?”

Her new release, “Cowboy Carter”, has dropped like Lauren Boebert’s head during a banana harvest, and she’s looking for live performances to help.  Her sights set on the Grand Old Opry.

But the venerable institution denied her appearance, relating that she wasn’t “invited” to play, and that all musicians require that precious request in order to appear.

A spokesperson for the Opry, Trish Blake, told us more about the decision by the Grand Old Council.

“This is, first and foremost, about country music.  I mean, for God’s sake, Beyonce is a black woman.  The Opry audience will haul her behind a horse.  She doesn’t do country.  Let the Apollo have her.  Our will is done.”

The brief statement was accepted whole-heartedly by a resounding majority of the country music faithful, especially Republicans, many of whom listen to country music because it’s very simple and stupid.


  1. Trump's a Country Member

    Apparently the tiny handed, pussy grabbing porn star shagger loves this place – on record as saying “I’m a country member”.

    We remember Trumpy !

    Excellent work Fallis
    P.S Is Flagg sorting out fluffers for Trump’s trial ?

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  3. 去你这个胖胖的屄!!More Chins than a Chinese phone book


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  8. Fallis Gunnington

    I’ve chucked out the trout paper – premiere ki’s got my freckle as clean as a whistle !

    Keep up the fantastic work – I’m saving a fortune in chocolate starfish bleaching Bro !

    ( Any chance you could pop a nut in your mouth and hummmmmm as the tongue frots the sphincter- Trumpy says Stormy was the best $130K he ever spent doing just that )

    Gotta dash – Melania’s tied up in the closest and I’ve got to scare off the hostage negotiators….

    Stay strong 😉

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