And there you have it, patriots. The silliest thing someone like Taylor Swift could possibly say. According to our source, a guy we know named Greg, she was caught on a hot mic:
“I seen it myself,” said Greg, “She said she don’t care bout no hurrimacane victims cuz hillbillies don’t buy concert tickets.”
We gave Greg 20 bucks for meth and sent him on his way. He said he was headed to Kid Rock’s Nashville Honkeytonk and could use a ride, but we’re in West Tallahassee, so that really didn’t work out.
What we all really need to ask ourselves is, should we have given Greg more so he could get some meth AND a bus ticket to Nashville? It’s been weighing on us since it happened.
We asked ALLOD Mental Healthalist Tara Newhole, who told us that Greg needs to learn to stand on his own two feet:
“Thje problem with giving him more for a bus ticket is that he’ll mostly just sing a few bars of that song Kid stole from Skynard but not the cool Skynard lyrics and then buy more meth,” Newhole said, “Would it have been such a hassle to give the poor guy a lift?”
You’ll have to excuse Tara. She’s a little on the liberal side. Greg can pull himself up by the bootstraps, patriots. We stapled a “don’t feed me if I don’t work for it” sign to his back on the way out just to make sure. God Bless America.
