I.R.S. Hiring 18,000 New ‘Tax Enforcement Agents’

It’s been said that the two absolutely sure things in life are death and taxes.  Those two things may be unequivocally linked after September of this year.

The Internal Revenue Service, after being bolstered by the Biden administration, is hiring 87,000 new agents, say many sources.  18,000 of those hires are for what’s been described as “Armed Federal Tax Enforcement Agents”.

Applications for the positions describe individuals who have had : “Law enforcement experience, possibly ejected from their posts for overly excited activity leading to gun violence or random blasting incidents.”  Veteran’s diagnosed with PTSD are also highly sought.

Joeseph Barron, who has described himself as “one bad ass money collecting bastard” gave a brief description of what these new enforcement agents would be responsible for.

“I’ve heard on the news that only people making over $400,000 would be sacked by Biden’s new tax laws.  But over $20,000 Is really where we start.  We will be auditing taxes left, right, and center, and anyone who’s even a penny off will be fined, possibly jailed, and definitely beaten within an inch of their life.”

But beatings are only the start.  Each agent will be armed on day one with an AK-47 assault rifle as well as backup “trunk packs” of bazookas, RPG’s, and specialty explosive devices.  No joke.

“We’re not fooling around with ‘head of household’ nonsense or those weird ass Mormon ‘sovereign citizens’ anymore,” Barron beamed.  “We will march straight into your house and take you hostage for our cash.  Pay your taxes.  Or else. “