Roseanne’s Show Breaks The View’s Daytime Viewership Record – Then Shatters It

Roseanne Barr’s career is back and better than ever. After the huge success of her standup routine and the explosion of followers on her podcast, things started turning around.

Her highly-anticipated new show went out to test audiences this week and scored higher in the ratings than ABC’s “The View” ever has. On its second day, it shattered their numbers to bits.

“What we’re seeing is a newfound interest in truthful, honest television,” said Producer Joe Barron, “People are tired of all the ‘facts’ and ‘science’ running their lives day in and day out. Roseanne and her guests are a refreshing change from all that.”

Her first episode, “Are the Frogs Gay or Not” was a fascinating introspective into Alex Jones and why his predictions often come true. Unfortunately, Tucker Carlson stole the idea and ran with it, so the records were just barely broken. Day two, however, saw unprecedented numbers for the airing of “The Joe Rogan Experience Explained.”

“The sky really is the limit,” said ALLOD Entertainment Correspondulant Tara Newhole, “when you’re dealing in fictional television, you can do literally anything. Next week she plans to have Obama come on and show off his newly-acquired boobs.”

Only Rosie could pull off a stunt like that, patriots. It’s why she gets all the big bucks. For her talents.

The show will go live to the public shortly after it stops being a figment of this reporter’s imagination. God Bless America.