Roseanne’s new morning talk show isn’t just some version of “The View.” Unlike Whoopi’s sexist show, “Unwoke” will have men both on the panel and as guests on every single show.

To start out, Roseanne will welcome none other than Tim Allen. On day two, It’s Sylvester Stallone.

When mid-week rolls around, Jamie Farr from MASH will be by, in full drag, so make sure no kids are watching! On Thursday, Scott Baio rolls into town to talk about how hard things have been since the infamous celebrity death hoax that had tens of people concerned for his family.

Friday brings with it a special treat. Jim Caviezel will not only spend the entire show talking about the sequel to “Passion of the Christ,” he’ll do it in full makeup.

“I’m not gonna do scourged Jesus,” said the actor, “that’s far too gory for most people. I’ll be risen Jesus, so there will be some holes, but much like John Candy’s metal plate in Harry Crumb, they won’t hurt.”

Caviezel always has a way of explaining things so we can understand them. He said they’d take us anywhere. He said they was magic shoes…

Caviezel’s agent asked us to please make a note that he wasn’t the actor who played Forrest Gump. “Jim doesn’t want to be associated with someone who spent all those seasons on Bosom Buddies dressed as a woman. He has children to think about.”

The show should be a big hit with some big-named stars. God Bless America.

2 Comments

  1. Larry W Janusky

    So nice to have at least 1% of the TV shows not ramming Woke politics down my throat and explaining to me how racist white people are

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