Rittenhouse Announces Wisconsin Senate Bid

What do you do when, early in life, you’ve successfully told the world that you’re 100% pro-second amendment, proven it through positive action, and made a personal fortune by suing the crap out of everyone who tried to use their “woke” methodology on you?

Well, you run for the United States Senate, of course.   Which is what Kyle Rittenhouse will be doing, starting today.

Yesterday, the pudgy angel of Death made the announcement that he’d be in the running next term for the Senate seat in Wisconsin’s eighth district, left vacant this season by retiring Senator Sanders Batt.  The district includes Kenosha, Wisconsin, where Rittenhouse fatally wounded two sneering criminals in self-defense.

The 19-year old made his speech at the Wisconsin home of the former Kay-B Toy and Hobby distribution center.

“Good day to all of you violent pricks!  Am I right?  Am I living your dream, getting away with murder?  Well, now I’m going to run for the U.S. Senate and sign every form, bill, and act of legislation with the blood on my hands!  Isn’t that great?”

Rittenhouse paused for a thundering round of applause and then concluded:

“I have absolutely no experience or qualifications for this position.  So Herschel Walker me, Wisconsin!”

I’m celebration he raised the rifle that he’s known for, and fired off a volley of shots.  Six were sadly killed and four injured.