Reba McEntire Says She Won’t Do Shows with Garth Brooks: “His Fans Are All City Folk with Rainbow Hair”

Reba McEntire is all done working with the wishy-washy woke crowd that follows Garth Brooks around. Shortly after decrying the fake news website that told the Taylor Swift lie, Reba posted “I’ll never work with Garth again” along with an image of him being booed in Hambriston.

“It’s really been a long time coming,” said Brooks and McEntire Tour Producer Joe Barron, “Once people started buying tickets just to boo garth and Carrie Underwood quit, it was all downhill.”

Unfortunately for Brooks, the list of artists who will still work with him has been narrowed down to Tim McGraw and Shania Twain. Shania is still pretty hot, but she’s also a Canadian, which won’t help his image with the all-American crowd currently boycotting the piss out of him.

According to ALLOD Multiverse Correspondent Tara Newhole, The Garth from this Earth might be in trouble, but it’s nothing compared to Garth 417:

“Imagine a Garth that weighs 400 pounds and rules the country world with an iron fist. Carrie Underwood didn’t leave that Garth on the road, he had her executed for laughing at him when he spilled Banana pudding on his Lhasa Apso.”

As disturbing as that sounds, patriots, we can all rest easy that at least in this timeline, Garth hasn’t yet grown the power to fly into the sun and destroy us all like he did on Earth 34.

Historians may look back on this day and wonder…with all we know he’s capable of, why haven’t we locked him up? It seems like the proper thing to do. God bless America.