Pelosi Moves $2.4 Billion Social Security to Cover BLM Legal Defense

Speaker Nancy Pelosi has a bit of a history when it comes to dealing out money in somewhat controversial ways.  Last year, she was excoriated as a story went viral about her transfer of 2.4 billion dollars of social security funds to cover the cost of Trump’s impeachment.

It looks like the Drinky Finky is doing it again, with, coincidentally, the exact same amount of funding moved to cover the cost of the legal defense for lawsuits brought against protest organization Black Lives Matter.

Although it’s been said many times that Pelosi can absolutely not move, take, or even look at social security’s funding, a great majority of Donald Trump’s ridiculously gullible and paranoid schizophrenic twaddletards are senior citizens, who somehow believe the impeached President, after failing consistently for nearly four years, is going to make them rich, and America into a biblical wonderland that they will flourish in for the ten or so years they have left.

Senior citizen activist Sandy Batt told the Washington Queefer-Times that the trumpers will never notice the fictional theft.

“Well, if Trump is going to make all these grannies so rich, they’re not going to need those payments anyway, right?  Black Lives Matter is a revolution of the young, and are voices shouting what needs to be heard.

They need that money now, to bail them out of jail like some of these oldies needed done in the sixties.  They need protection in case someone tries to sue them, or in case a certain morbidly obese shit-filled Sumo suit calling itself the President gets racist enough to call them terrorists.  They need that funding more than grandpa HannityLicker needs his weekly box of Fiddle Faddle.”

Pelosi held a short press conference to announce the newest financial shift, and responded to questions about the money transfer by laughing, farting, and holding up a bottle of vodka triumphantly.