Nancy Pelosi’s daughters are at it again. Her two offspring can’t seem to stay out of trouble. Their troubles with the law are continuous and, amongst some police departments, a thing of legend.
Their previous arrests have been for everything from drunken brawls, to grand theft, to breaking and entering. Drugs have also been involved in their adventures. And now they are again.
Michelle, 23, and Joanne, 27, were picked up by police in Alderaan Valley Friday, and are currently being held on charges of manufacturer of an illegal substance with a stupid name. The two felons with political connection had been running a lab in which they had been mass-producing a pill known on the street as “orange stupid.”
Orange Stupid is a hallucinogen from the bloogie family of narcotics and is characterized by it’s ridiculous name, of course, and by the image embedded upon each of the pills. The drug has the face of none other than our president Donald Trump emblazoned on each, an insult to both our leader and our nation.
The drug is becoming increasingly popular among the youth of America and it is incredibly harmful. It’s said to alter one’s vision so that everything appears in orange, leading the kids to believe that this is a natural skin color and confusing them when they find it us not. It also alters intelligence and gives its users a heightened sense of ability and importance. This drug alone is responsible for a 2000 percent increase in narcissism with the under 30s of this country.
Pelosi’s daughters are, naturally, pleading innocence, but Detective Joe Barron, who made the bust, is having none of it. Barron claims that he has got the two dead to rights and intends to prosecute to the full extent of the law, not caring who their mother is.
“We got them! We got them we got them we got them we got them we got them! There is no doubt of their guilt. We caught them red-handed. I am so happy. I have never made an arrest before! We got them we got them we got them we got them we got them!”
Confident words from the seasoned detective. Their guilt is assured, it seems. Perhaps this time they will be put away, making Alderaan Valley a safer place.
