Former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi says she’s ready to bring forward what she calls “irrefutable evidence” of fraud committed by Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. According to Bondi, Zelenskyy may have personally misappropriated U.S. funds intended for humanitarian and military support, and she’s planning to present her findings to a grand jury for potential federal charges.
“This isn’t about foreign aid mismanagement or vague oversight failures,” Bondi said during an interview on the highly reputable podcast Freedom N’ Fries with Skip and Sandy. “This is about a world leader physically taking American money that didn’t belong to him. We’re talking criminal-level fraud, plain and simple.”
At first glance, the charges seem damning. Bondi’s team reportedly traced the “theft” back to Zelenskyy’s visit to the White House in 2022, during which he was granted a closed-door meeting with then-President Biden and had access to sensitive areas of the West Wing. “This was when it happened,” Bondi says. “The timeline checks out. The opportunity was there. And now we have eyewitness testimony.”
The testimony in question? It comes from a retired tour guide named Joe Barron, who now serves as a semi-official bench monitor on the National Mall. Barron says he saw Zelenskyy stop on the sidewalk near the Rose Garden, bend down slowly, look around suspiciously, and pocket what appeared to be U.S. currency. Bondi says a subsequent review of public area surveillance corroborates his account — although, when pressed, she clarified that the footage is “mostly grainy” and “could technically show anyone picking up anything.”
So how much taxpayer money was allegedly stolen?
“Five dollars,” Bondi said confidently. “A whole Abraham Lincoln.”
According to Bondi, the $5 bill, likely dropped by a staffer or tourist, was never turned in to the White House’s “official lost and found,” which she claims is maintained by part-time security contractor Art Tubolls and consists of a single shoebox in the East Wing breakroom labeled “Lost Crap.”
“This isn’t about the amount,” Bondi insisted. “It’s about the principle. When a foreign leader visits our soil and finds something of value, the legal thing to do is report it. The ethical thing to do is ask whose it is. The Zelenskyy thing to do, apparently, is to buy a Kit Kat and a copy of GQ at the D.C. airport and never look back.”
At press time, Zelenskyy had not responded to the allegations, though Ukrainian officials released a brief statement noting, “We will not be answering further questions about American sidewalk money.”
Bondi says she’ll continue to pursue justice, and that if Zelenskyy isn’t held accountable, “there’s no telling how many other foreign dignitaries might come here looking for pocket change.”
God Bless America.
