Liberals Protest Public Christmas Tree In Portland

Portland, Oregon.  The largest city in Oregon is well known for its eclectic mix of styles and destinations, from the Japanese Garden and Washington Park to coffeehouses and museums.  And more recently, a few other things.

Like Antifa.  Black Lives Matter.  Protesting anything and everything with an even slightly rightward bent.

Currently as we go to press, the city is packed full of pussy hats, stomping Nikes, and environmentally safe signs, complaining about a “public religious display” in the city center that really burns their britches.

That public display is the city’s Christmas tree, a tradition that goes all the way back to when Portland Josephi Barron’ settled the town back in 1522, and erected a large and colorful oak to symbolize a bloody and beaten slave boy.

The tree was put up by Portland’s City Processing Society and sponsored by the Daughters of the Confederate Corpses, an organization headed by Republican blimp woman Anita Dixsoon.

“It’s a Christmas tree that we’ve had for millions of years now, and I don’t see why these unwashed losers have a problem with it now.  With its ornaments depicting slave whippings and angels carrying machine guns to sleeping children, it’s the most beautiful picture of the holiday season,” she said angrily.

But many Portlanders disagree.

“It’s a sick representation of a time we all wish would stay dead and buried,” says activist Art Tubolls.  “It needs to go.”

Merry Christmas everyone.