Roseanne’s new show is just about ready to roll. Barring any complications, it should be up and running by early next month. In an exciting turn of events, the first musical guest has been changed…to Oliver Anthony!

Anthony, who rose to instant stardom with his hit “Rich Men North of Richmond,” says he’s honored to do a show with such an inspirational woman:

“Roseanne has always been about the working class person,” he said, “so it’s only fitting that I do her show. I’m thinking of bringing her some fudge rounds as a joke,”

Roseanne would certainly find that amusing, as her decades-long role as a struggling mom in a blue-collar world would suggest. “The Conners didn’t get no welfare,” she said, “Me and Dan worked our asses of to feed those rotten little bastards,”

Roseanne’s turn toward conservatism may seem to be a little bit contrary to everything we know about her, and her newfound love for her country is definitely a long way from the crotch-grabbing, bird-flipping rendition of the National Anthem she did way back when. But that’s why we love her. Her ability to change is unlike any other.

It’s unfortunate that she’s unwilling to change from her latest form, which is a shrill, obnoxious clown touting conspiracy theories for the cultists on “X,” but that’s how the cookie crumbles.

At least her first show will have a good song before it tanks and gets canceled. God bless America.


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