Barack Obama reportedly billed the Biden administration more than $18 million over four years for what official records describe as “consulting services.” Conservatives, who had no issue when the Trump kids charged the Secret Service $900 a night for a cot in the hallway, are suddenly clutching their pearls over a few invoices from the most popular Democrat since FDR.
According to documents released through a congressional oversight request, the funds were dispersed over four years to a firm listed as Hope & Invoice LLC, which may or may not be a real company but definitely has better branding than “Trump Steaks.” The fees include such ambiguous line items as “Narrative Guidance,” “Messaging Realignment,” and “Helping Joe Not Call Kamala ‘Michelle.’”
One line simply read “Explaining TikTok to Cabinet.”
Naturally, Republicans are outraged, pretending to care about fiscal responsibility after four years of a gold-plated president who spent taxpayer money on personal legal battles, golf carts, and spray tan emergencies. Speaker Mike Johnson called the payments “unprecedented corruption,” which is weird, because he said nothing when Trump’s own family billed the U.S. government $2.5 million for hosting themselves at their own hotels.
Still, the talking points went out: “Obama is running the show,” “Biden is just a puppet,” “Kamala eats crayons,” etc. By noon, Fox News was already scrolling “SHADOW PRESIDENT?” under a blurry photo of Obama golfing in Hawaii while Biden ate a hot dog in Scranton.
But was any of it even real?
According to very real-sounding sources, maybe not.
A part-time vape shop employee in Bethesda named Art Tubolls says his cousin’s friend delivers Chick-fil-A to a guy who once installed fiber optic cable near the Old Executive Office Building. That guy reportedly overheard someone say, “Yeah, Obama’s sending another invoice.” This highly circumstantial and questionably-sourced claim was enough for Truth Social to start trending with hashtags like #ObamaGate2 and #ConsultantInChief.
Adding to the intrigue, a man identifying himself as Joe Barron, who says he runs a Roomba repair business in Silver Spring, claims he “saw the invoice with [his] own two eyes” while cleaning behind a filing cabinet at the GAO. “It was on White House letterhead,” Barron told no one in particular. “There were doodles of Bo the dog all over it. That’s how you know it’s real.”
So far, the White House hasn’t commented, but Obama’s team has issued a statement:
“President Obama provided strategic support and communications guidance to an administration navigating multiple crises. Any compensation was standard, reasonable, and well within precedent—unlike giving a pardon to your bestie minutes before the FBI shows up.”
Ultimately, the story is likely going nowhere. Republicans will scream about it for a week, then move on to whatever AOC is wearing or whether Joe Biden blinked too fast. Meanwhile, the only real crime continues to be the grift that still pays off every time someone hears “Obama” and immediately forgets about the 34 felony counts currently stapled to Trump’s forehead.
God Bless America.
