A federal Judge appointed by Barack Obama has ruled that the charges against 561 of the protestors at the Capitol on January 6th were the result of entrapment, and are, therefore, dismissed as fruit of the poisonous tree.
The decision was handed down by the Honorable Judge Morris Stalacktendyner of the 67th Federal Court of Podium Appeals. The case was heard in speed-court style, so no further details are available at this time.
That’s really all we need to know, though, patriots. 561 people who had been called criminals and terrorists, are now free. They were charged with loving their country too much, and being too stupid to know when to drop the dumb flag and go home.
That’s over now. Most of them have lost their jobs, their trailer homes, and in many cases, their families. But they get to say that they stood on the Capitol steps, in front of the entire world, and tried to end democracy as we know it.
How many people can say that, patriots? So if you come across these folks, drop a dollar or two in their cup. Maybe grab them a McDouble. Give them big pieces of cardboard and a Sharpie so they can earn a living.
Do the right thing, patriots.
God Bless America.