The National News Licensing Board, a thing Craven Moorehead invented because he thought it would be funny, has ruled that the Harris campaign colluded with ABC to violate the Fairness Doctrine, a thing that hasn’t existed since Reagan.
You see, patriots, sometimes just the mention of something called “news” with the proper right-wing slant brings all the potatoes to our yard.
There’s a good chance you’re asking yourself, “Just what the hell is going on right now?” The answer is simple: Sadly, there’s no way to know for sure.
Anyway, onto the fact-check. According to our fictitious sources, the image you clicked on is a pretty good fake. One guy, who made the image, said, “I usually suck pretty bad, but this one just worked.”
He’s not wrong, patriots. Shortly after we released the image the first time, Trump decided to “Truth” that there was, in fact, an investigation:
Did we finally get the White (tinted orange) whale? We’re hoping so, and that some follow-up might get him to actually use the altered pic because then we win the internet.
We’ll keep you updated on this silliness unless you’re a Geriatritatoe™. In that case, we’ll feed you more things you can pretend are real that you can tell your buddies in the common room at the home over Snack Packs.
God Bless America.
