Investigative Journalist Nick Shirley says his team has uncovered concrete evidence that former Congresswoman Liz Cheney and Congressman Jamie Raskin’s “short affair” during their time together on the January 6th Unselect Committee cost the taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars.
“They were setting up extravagant meetings at posh hotels and award-winning restaurants while they ‘researched’ the case,” said Shirley. “When they told the public their affair was ‘short and meaningless,’ they lied.”
Shirley says he’s turning over what they’ve found to the DC Prosecutor’s Office.
According to Dave, a delivery driver who frequently drops off packages at the Capitol and spoke on condition of anonymity because his manager “would kill him” if he knew he was talking to the press, the whole thing started with a shared Uber ride that turned into seventeen shared Uber rides. “They always ordered Uber Black,” Dave insisted, adjusting his reflective vest. “I saw the receipts blowing around the loading dock. One of them was $847 for a three-mile trip because they kept circling the block ‘discussing democracy.'”
The expenses didn’t stop at transportation. Mike, a mail carrier who has delivered letters to the Rayburn Building for twenty-three years and who keeps a detailed log of “suspicious correspondence,” claims he saw the evidence with his own eyes. “I found a catering invoice from a fondue place in Georgetown,” Mike said, his voice dropping to a whisper despite being alone in his truck. “Forty pounds of imported Swiss cheese. For two people. You do the math. That’s not committee business. That’s romance.”
But perhaps the most damning testimony comes from Joe Barron, a former parking garage attendant who briefly worked at the garage beneath the Capitol Visitor Center in 2021 and who now identifies as a “congressional liaison expert.” Barron, reached at his current place of employment at a bait shop in Maryland, claims he has seen things that would “make Watergate look like a parking ticket.”
“They had a system,” Barron explained, gesturing vaguely with a nightcrawler container. “Cheney would pull in at 8:47 AM exactly. Raskin would already be there, holding two coffees from that place with the unpronounceable name. The receipts show they expensed every single cup as ‘witness preparation supplies.’ I saw them once. They were definitely preparing something, but it wasn’t witnesses.”
Barron has since compiled a 400-page dossier he calls “The Midnight Files,” which he keeps in a waterproof tub behind his house. He offered to show it to this reporter but first demanded assurance that we were not “with the Deep State.” When asked how parking garage attendance qualified him as an expert on congressional ethics, Barron became defensive. “I’ve seen every car that entered that garage for six months straight,” he said. “You think the FBI has that kind of intel? I know things. I know what happens when the garage goes dark at night. Let’s just say some committee meetings didn’t end when C-SPAN stopped filming.”
Shirley, for his part, remains confident that justice will be served. “The American people deserve to know that their elected officials were using taxpayer dollars to fund what was essentially a very expensive first date that lasted three months,” he said. “We’re also looking into whether the Secret Service detail assigned to Cheney was forced to hold flowers at any point. That would be a clear Hatch Act violation.”
The Cheney and Raskin camps have not responded to requests for comment, which sources close to the investigation say is “extremely telling.”
