M&M’s To Sport ‘Woke W’s’ For New Promotion

M&M’s are the delicious candy treat you could always count on.  I remember every Halloween, a red house with a wooden front door that would hand out little bags of the confection without fail, and it was a pleasure.

Each candy emblazoned with a small “m”, they set themselves aside from other copycats so that you could be sure you were always getting Nestle’s finest.  That is, until the new “woke” era.

First, they changed the green M&M’s clothing in the commercials, afraid, yes AFRAID that she had become too “sexually suggestive”.  Indeed, the move dropped Tucker Carlson from a virile male down to a floppy wet spaghetti penis.

Now Nestle’s candy labeller Sandra Batt has announced a new promotion to embrace the woke stereotype, printing “W’s’ for Woke” on each piece.  The promotion will last for six months.

“Nestle’s would like to make absolutely certain that everyone knows we’re woke and support the greatest and most powerful minorities of people out there.  Woke isn’t ‘broke.’.  Woke is the Antidoke.  Antidote.  Whatever.  You guys get it.”

There are many skeptics who contend that the company basically didn’t do anything, and that they’re simply calling the regular “m”‘s “W’s'” in order to make a big stink.

These are people who are obviously unfamiliar with the complex art of candy lettering.