Kramer is gone. One of the most iconic characters in television history has departed the Earth to be with his maker. Michael Richards, 76, died this morning of natural causes at his home in Hackensack, New Jersey.

According to the local Medical Examiner, it was perfectly natural for Richards to drink too much and get belligerent with townsfolk, especially if they were…ethnic. “His blood alcohol level probably would have killed a man twice his size. For Michael, there was no more natural cause of death.”

“He was a good man. Once. Then he turned into a real dick,” said local bartender Joe Barron, “He was pretty angry that he got himself canceled for overt racism, but he started coming around last year when stories about him started popping up everywhere.

“I tried to tell him the stories weren’t true and that Roseanne wasn’t coming to save his career, since hers sucks pretty badly as well, but he wouldn’t listen.”

It seems like Richards has quite a ways to go to redemption, but here he was getting ready to accept his fate and the Good Lord still saw it fit to take him.

“It was probably the hate and racism,” said a spokesman for the Lord, “Nobody knows for sure. All I know is it must’ve been avoidable otherwise he wouldn’t have been sent straight to hell.”

That’s a shame, but he brought it on himself. God Bless America.