Clint Eastwood had a vision one day. That vision was of a major movie studio, staffed by those of like mind and spirit to create artwork and films that would stand the test of time.
And not be “woke” in the process.
He later had a dream of hopping behind a huge rhinoceros and ramming his dick in and out of it like an oil rig piston, but the less said of that, the better.
Now, one more name has been added to his studio dream : that name is Marky “Marky Mark” Wahlberg, the 52-year old megastar of “Scoob”, “The Happening”, and the crtically acclaimed “Uncharted”.
“Our country needs this, now more than ever” the ersatz Max Payne told Rolling Stone’s lead reporter Sandra Batt. “We need movies that aren’t woke or insulting.”
Eastwood plans to start his studio’s reign with a remake of the classic film “Stripes”, only minus every shred of comedy that the original had. It’s being billed as a “hard military tragedy”.
The film aims to star Drew Barrymore and Idris Elba in the lead roles, and will feature graphic scenes of rhinoceros sex.
The studio itself has no official name as of yet, but word on the street is that Marky is pushing for “Funky Puh Puh Pictures, Yo.”
