Congresswoman Lauren Beboert (R-CO) received her committee assignments today, which includes the chair of the Select Committee to Investigate the Former Speaker. The 5-person committee won’t have any Democrats on it and will convene until the matter is resolved and recommendations sent to the Department of Justice.

According to Committee Page Joesph Barron, the docket will focus almost exclusively on Pelosi’s ridiculously high alcohol budget, rumored to cost the taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars per year. They will also look into the attack on Paul Pelosi to determine if there’s a social or familial connection between him and the alleged assailant.

The committee will feature Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor-Greene, Dan Crenshaw, and special guest appearances by Jim Jordan when he’s not busy investigating Obama-appointed judges for ties to critical race theory. “I’m also heavily involved with the most pressing issue facing Americans right now,” said Jordan, “Hunter Biden’s laptop. When asked about the GOP stance on inflation, he responded, “That’s Biden’s job.”

The legislative process is looking like it will be back to normal with Republicans in control. For two years, the Democrats have tried to govern while investigating an unprecedented assault on democracy, which was obviously a mistake. America wants real investigations with pictures of famous people in embarrassing situations, and that’s what they’re gonna get.

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