MINNEAPOLIS, MN – In a bold move sure to ignite national conversation, dairy giant Land O’Lakes has announced the return of its iconic Native American woman—known affectionately to some as “Mia”—to its packaging. The company’s leadership, responding to what they describe as “consumer demand for heritage and authenticity,” stated that removing her in 2020 was a “tragic overreach of wokeness” that left customers feeling lost, confused, and, worst of all, unsure of where their butter was coming from.
“Our customers have spoken, and they want their butter with a side of cultural nostalgia,” said Land O’Lakes CEO Brent Johnson at a press conference, flanked by a six-foot cardboard cutout of the newly reinstated figure. “People weren’t buying butter because of the taste or quality—they were buying it because they felt a deep, emotional connection to a completely fictional Native woman whose origins we vaguely acknowledge.”
The decision to bring back Mia comes after years of outcry from certain consumers, who, upon seeing the butter’s revised packaging in 2020, allegedly flew into a state of panic. Reports surfaced of customers staring blankly at grocery store shelves, mumbling, “Something is missing… but what?” One Minnesota man even claimed that, without Mia’s reassuring presence, he spread margarine on his toast “by accident.”
Conservative pundits were among the first to celebrate the announcement. “This is a huge win for American values,” declared Tucker Hannity Jr. on his primetime news segment Dairy and Discourse. “The woke mob tried to erase history, but you can’t cancel tradition!” The program then cut to a montage of American flags, bald eagles, and slow-motion footage of a butter knife gracefully spreading a golden layer of Land O’Lakes onto a biscuit.
Despite the company’s claims that they are merely “honoring tradition,” critics argue that the move is little more than a blatant attempt to cash in on nostalgia while ignoring the concerns of Indigenous groups who have long criticized the use of Native imagery for corporate branding. When asked whether Land O’Lakes had consulted any Native American organizations before reinstating Mia, Johnson responded, “We didn’t want to burden them with unnecessary meetings, but we did do extensive research—our intern found an old ad from 1955, and it really resonated with us.”
To mark Mia’s return, Land O’Lakes has launched a limited-edition butter packaging that includes a scratch-and-sniff feature, releasing “the rich scent of American heritage” when rubbed. Though details remain vague, sources indicate the scent is a mix of fresh grass, campfire smoke, and “a hint of Manifest Destiny.”
The company also announced plans for a rebranded ad campaign, featuring slogans such as “Spread the Tradition” and “Mia is Back—And This Time, She’s Pasteurized.” A leaked commercial script reportedly features a montage of rustic farmland, gentle flute music, and an old man wiping a single tear from his eye as he cradles a butter stick in his hands.
While some customers have welcomed the return of Mia with open arms (and butter knives), others remain skeptical. “I just want to buy butter without getting dragged into a culture war,” sighed one shopper, staring blankly at the dairy aisle. “But I guess that’s too much to ask in 2025.”
At press time, Land O’Lakes was rumored to be in discussions with Aunt Jemima’s estate to explore “mutual opportunities in the nostalgia-based food industry.”
