Actor, Kevin Costner, is in critical condition in the St. Eligius Hospital, just outside of Queefahambra, Montana today.  Doctors have confirmed that Costner will most likely have to stay for most of the week, as they are still baffled by his condition.

Costner stars as John Dutton in the hit five-season long ranch drama Yellowstone, the patriarch of a family of horrible people who yell at each other, ranch hands, and native Americans for an hour every week.  That is basically the show.

Costner and the show have made headlines recently, surrounding his reluctance to continue filming the current season due to scheduling conflicts with a movie that he’s also involved in.   It was during this filming that the incident which Cinematographer Sandy Batt refers to as a “freak accident” happened.

“Kevin was on a horse and shouting about getting some good sushi for lunch.  Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Alec Baldwin pops out, fires three shots from a prop gun at him, and takes off.  None of the bullets hit him, but he wet his pants and had a heart attack right there.  We called an ambulance.”

Costner has been vaccinated, although doctors continue to propose that that has about as much to do with his condition as his eating mashed potatoes.

Costner wishes everyone to remain calm during this trying time and to remember that he’s still – wait – oh, nope, he’s dead.  He’s died.  We will keep you appraised as this story continues.

1 Comment

  1. I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.

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