Kid Rock has once again proven that he is a true American hero.
Our sources tell us he’s heading to North Carolina whether FEMA likes it or not to deliver millions in relief and supplies to the people affected by Hurricane Helene.
“Kid is definitely on his way,” said a guy named Terry who started drinking just before noon, “I saw him with my own eye.”
Terry wears a patch over his left eye. There’s nothing wrong with it. He just likes to look like a pirate. “And I don’t really care who doesn’t like it,” he shouted at the girl at the Dunkin drive-thru window.
Taylor Swift, on the other hand, has done nothing to help. She’s too busy selling her concert tickets for thousands of dollars to be bothered with pesky hurricane victims. Sure, she’s the type who takes care of people and donates more than Kid Rock is worth to worthy causes, but so far she hasn’t dropped everything and headed down there like we’re pretending Kid Rock is.
Maybe Kid Rock is just a better person than She is. Maybe he isn’t just a clown who steals tracks and pretends he grew up poor. Maybe he’s actually a great guy who would do something like this because he can, not because it might give him more notoriety.
Or maybe he sees hurricane victims as his next case of something to exploit with his cool guns. Sadly, there’s no way to know fo sure. God Bless America.
