WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what critics are already calling the trashiest power couple since Bonnie and Clyde, Kid Rock and Rep. Lauren Boebert have announced they will be attending the White House Correspondents’ Dinner together, promising an evening of wildly inappropriate behavior, public displays of affection that make everyone uncomfortable, and just the right amount of secondhand embarrassment for America.

The invitation has sent shockwaves through Washington, as political insiders struggle to comprehend what could possibly go wrong when you mix an outspoken gun-loving congresswoman and a beer-chugging rock star known for wearing American flag overalls with no shirt.

A ‘Classy’ Evening, Boebert Promises

“We are going to bring a real American vibe to this elitist swamp gala,” Boebert said, adjusting her bedazzled holster in a press conference. “Too long has this event been about so-called journalists stroking each other’s egos. We’re bringing the people’s voice—and by that, I mean we’re shotgun-ing Bud Lights at the table.”

Asked what she planned to wear, Boebert smirked. “Let’s just say, it’s got less fabric than a White House transparency report.”

Kid Rock’s Bold Contribution to the Evening

Kid Rock, whose official title for the evening will be “Emissary of Freedom”, promised to shake things up, explaining, “Normally, this thing is full of fake laughs and nerds in tuxedos. I’m bringing a six-pack of Coors, a Bluetooth speaker, and the undeniable energy of a man who hasn’t paid taxes in a decade.”

He also hinted at a surprise musical performance, teasing a new song titled “Let’s Go Brandon (And Also, Whatever Rhymes With That).”

Sources say he intends to arrive on horseback, claiming it’s “what real Americans do”, despite never having ridden a horse outside of a beer commercial.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Insiders predict at least five major incidents before the night is over. Early speculation includes:

  • Boebert live-streaming the dinner from a concealed GoPro strapped to her sequined handbag, whispering, “We’re exposing the deep state, baby.”
  • Kid Rock lighting a cigarette inside the ballroom, yelling, “I thought this was a free country!”
  • A betting pool on when they get kicked out, with the leading guess being “as soon as Boebert tries to smuggle in a handgun shaped like a lipstick.”
  • An awkward run-in with Dr. Fauci, which ends with Kid Rock attempting to challenge him to a “science-off.”
  • Boebert getting confused and accidentally heckling Joe Biden’s teleprompter.

An Unforgettable Night (For All the Wrong Reasons)

While some critics argue the pair’s presence will “tarnish the dignity of the event,” most analysts agree the White House Correspondents’ Dinner lost dignity around the time Donald Trump refused to attend and George W. Bush did a stand-up routine.

Still, sources inside the White House say they aren’t taking any chances and have already instructed staff to “reinforce the open bar, move the breakable furniture, and put all interns on high alert.”

Meanwhile, Boebert and Kid Rock remain undeterred. “We’re just here to have fun,” Kid Rock said. “And maybe challenge Biden to an arm-wrestling match.”

Stay tuned. This could get messy.