Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the man who showed America how to do law enforcement properly, has passed away. He was 92.
According to our source, Julian the Uber Eats driver, Arpaio hasn’t ordered a single Big Mac in over a week, leading him to be concerned enough to break into his house to make sure he was okay:
“Sure enough,” said Julian, “He was laying there dead on the kitchen floor with a packet of Chinese tea in his hand. I was going to call the police but after looking around a bit, I found that there was a bunch of valuable stuff I could take if I remained anonymous and called you guys instead.”
Thanks, bro. Surely the cops out there will never make the connection between Julian the Uber Eats driver who delivers to Arpaio regularly and you.
Sometimes a person can tell you how they lean politically and sometimes you have to guess. Take Julian. Is he a woke lefty for robbing a dead guy or an insolent J6 cultist out in the world proving he really belongs in prison?
There’s no way to know for sure, sadly, but we do know that everyone loved Sheriff Joe. May he rest in peace.
God bless you, sir. And God bless America.
