One of former President Trump’s key goals after taking office was to eliminate the so-called “Affordable Care Act”, his predecessor Barack Obama’s signature legislation. He failed in that attempt completely, serving only to cripple the act, leading to taking away health care coverage for millions of needy Americans just before bungling the response to the deadly Trump Plague pandemic.
The incoming Biden administration aims to shore up that egotistical baby’s mistake by relaunching the act, known colloquially as “Obamacare” within the first one hundred days of his term. Noting that first lady Jill Biden has a PHD and is therefore, technically a doctor, President Biden has given the responsibility of relaunching the legislation to her, since it will be amusing to watch Trump’s cult of second-grade D-student dropouts bemoan how she’s “not a real doctor.”
“WE DON’T WANT NO MICROCHIP SHOTS! AND WHY FOR IS OUR BONER PILLS FIVE DOLLARS! BOYCOTT!”
Director of White House Trump De-Balling Sandy Batt explained what the Bidens hope to accomplish and why.
“The reason Trump even went after the ACA in the first place is because he simply felt inferior to Obama, with good reason. He is. By a lot. He’s never cared for the health and well-being of the citizenry in general. There’s no money in it. That’s why he took no responsibility for incompletently handling the Covid crisis.
Oh, wait, I forgot about ‘Operation Warp Speed’ that he’s taking so much credit for. That amounts to a phone call to the FDA telling them to ‘hurry up’ and approve vaccines for the disease he let spread. Wow. That’s probably the most successful three minutes of Trump’s life since he impregnated Melania. Ooh, congratulations, Jabba. Take a bow.”
Inset photo : Trump solving the terrifying Vape Crisis by screaming outside of a Manhattan head shop.
Dr. Biden will begin as early as next week to work with legal aides and health department officials to put things back in place to actually save and protect American lives. Meanwhile, former First lady Melania Trump has managed to spell out “Be Best” at her kitchen table in Mar-a-Lago with Alphabits and Elmer’s glue.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
