Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett is in hot water after a shocking revelation that she has allegedly been collecting $2,600 a month in Social Security payments for her late grandmother, who has been, inconveniently for her defense, dead since 2012.

When confronted, Crockett reportedly shrugged and said, “Oops.”

An Honest Mistake?

According to Crockett, the entire situation is nothing more than a simple clerical error.

“Look, people forget things all the time,” she reportedly told a group of reporters while sipping on a latte that was mysteriously labeled ‘Taxpayer Dollars.’ “You ever leave your phone in the fridge? Or, you know, forget to mention that your grandma has been dead for over a decade while you cash thousands of dollars in her name?”

Perfectly understandable. Happens to the best of us.

Crockett insists she had no idea the payments were still going through, though a DoorDash driver who once delivered Chipotle to her apartment overheard someone talking about a secret “Nana Fund” that paid for weekend spa trips, a Tesla down payment, and a very lucrative side hustle in designer handbags.

DOGE Investigates… and Immediately Regrets It

Elon Musk’s Department of Government Ethics (DOGE) has now launched an investigation into what it is calling “one of the most egregious cases of accidental fraud in recent history.”

“We were hoping this would be a simple case,” said DOGE spokesman Joe Barron, shaking his head. “But as soon as we pulled one thread, the entire sweater unraveled faster than Biden at a press conference.”

What did they find? Bank accounts stuffed with government checks, cryptic Venmo transactions labeled “SS Mystery Money,” and a suspicious PayPal charge for a yacht rental.

Even more troubling, it turns out Crockett listed her grandmother as a dependent on her taxes… as recently as last year.

“I thought it was a memorial deduction,” Crockett explained, with all the sincerity of a used car salesman pushing a flood-damaged vehicle.

Congressional Allies Rush to Defend Her

Of course, her colleagues are standing by her, because let’s face it—they’d all do the same thing if they thought they could get away with it.

“This is just another politically motivated attack on strong, brave women who simply happen to accidentally commit federal crimes,” said Rep. Art Tubolls of California. “Who among us hasn’t collected government money we weren’t supposed to? Let he who has never committed a little light fraud cast the first subpoena.”

The Verdict? Pending… Forever.

So what happens now? Probably nothing.

Sure, DOGE could forward its findings to the Department of Justice, but let’s be real—we’ve all seen how that works. The worst-case scenario? Crockett issues a public apology on The View and promises to “do better.”

Until then, she can rest easy knowing Grandma is still paying the bills.

God Bless America.