Illinois Governor JB Pritzker, best known for helping his state avoid becoming Florida and Texas, has recently caught flack for a hot phone-call with a mixed bag of staff and friends. It’s a call wherein he referred to Rep. Darren Bailey as a “crybaby,” who told him in confidence that he couldn’t “stand to wear a mask” thanks to his chronic halitosis.

The conversation is in the process of being hushed up, but something stinks in Springfield, and it’s not just Rep. Bailey.

Bailey, who sued Pritzker over some petty nonsense involving Pritzker doing his job, has won some notoriety, not the least of which for not only being from Clay County, but also being a Clay County resident who can count to 80.

His lawsuit largely symbolic, Bailey was kicked off the general assembly floor for his refusal to wear a mask. His fellow Republicans even condemned him, which was a stinging rebuttal, to say the least.

However, it is now coming out that Bailey attempted to appeal to Pritzker’s good side by saying he couldn’t wear a mask for medical reasons.

Apparently, that reason was that Bailey’s chronic halitosis is medically defined as being somewhere between “skunk’s anal gland” and “horse feces.” Pritzker was unsympathetic and suggested better dental hygiene.

If that wasn’t mean enough, though, Pritzker later mocked Bailey about it in a private phone call. All recordings have been destroyed, but a representative from upstate Illinois’ secretary was on the line and leaked the information to our outlet.

She wishes to remain anonymous and wants only to be called “Sandy Batt” in any publications so as to conceal her identity and protect her from Downstate mobs.

According to “Ms. Batt,” Governor Pritzker pulled no punches when he referred to Rep. Darren Bailey as a “crybaby hick with bad breath from Clay County.”


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