The Minnesota Immigration Task Force—also known as “that one guy at the DMV who likes to file complaints”—has officially launched an investigation into Representative Ilhan Omar’s family. According to an internal memo leaked to America’s Most Credible Satirical Sources (AMC-SS), the inquiry focuses on the possibility that the Omar family illegally chain-migrated to the U.S. sometime in the 1980s, back when parachute pants were legal and nobody knew what gluten was.

The memo, which was slipped under a door at the St. Paul Immigration Office by someone claiming to be “an independent constitutional scholar,” alleges that Omar’s extended family—including “like five uncles, maybe a cousin, and some guy named Rick who isn’t even Somali”—all got in under questionable circumstances during the Reagan administration.

“We’re not saying it definitely happened,” said Task Force Spokesman Joe Barron, who once worked security at a Bass Pro Shop and now oversees “several federal operations from his garage.” He added, “We’re just saying it might have happened… if you squint real hard and believe everything Barnaby told us.”

The name “Barnaby” has raised a few eyebrows.

So far, the **only source for the investigation’s core claims is a man referred to in documents as “Barnaby,” who says he met Ilhan Omar’s uncle at a roller rink in 1987 and overheard a conversation about “some cousins coming in through Canada under assumed bowling league aliases.” Barnaby has no last name, no fixed address, and may or may not be a highly intelligent raccoon wearing a trench coat.

Despite his questionable status as a sentient being, Barnaby’s story was deemed “compelling enough to merit a full-blown investigation,” according to the Task Force’s Director of Wild Guesses and Unverifiable Leads, Art Tubolls.

Tubolls, who famously once accused Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s cat of holding dual citizenship, insists that if the information checks out, Omar’s entire extended family could be deported “back to Somalia or whatever African country we randomly assign on the paperwork.”

“We’re serious about this,” Tubolls said. “Unless, of course, it turns out Barnaby is just some guy who lives in a tree behind the VFW and gets his news from truck stop bathroom graffiti.”

For her part, Representative Omar responded to the news by blinking twice and asking, “Who the hell is Barnaby?”—a question that, frankly, we all want answered.

As the investigation grinds forward, critics are calling the move “yet another baseless smear attempt,” while supporters say it’s “about time someone investigated things that happened before Omar was legally old enough to ride a bicycle unsupervised.”

Meanwhile, Barnaby could not be reached for comment, mostly because no one has been able to confirm he exists in the physical realm.

God Bless America.