Kamala Harris may have gone to college, but according to her former roommate, she didn’t learn very much.
“I took all of her tests for her,” said Josephine Barron, “Her mom paid the professors to look the other way.”
Barron’s story then took a sudden turn toward the bizarre when she claimed that she invented the grilled cheese sandwich and that Harris only wants to be president so she can take credit for it. Since that sounds kinda…dumb, we went ahead and looked into her claim.
It turns out that Barron was born the same year Kamala graduated from college, making it highly unlikely that she took any tests for the vice president. When we asked her why she was telling obviously false stories, she said, “It’s fun to mess with the Boomers on Facebook.”
It sounds to us as though Ms. Barron needs to grow up a little, leave her mom’s basement, and get a job.
“Nuh uh you are,” she said, “And I don’t care who doesn’t like it. She then belted out four choruses of Rickroll while dancing Gundham-style. Vanessa Carlton provided the background music via satellite from her garage.
As always, patriots, it’s a pleasure to bring you the news you hope is true. God Bless America.