Last week, the Guinness Book of World Records announced that it would add an asterisk next to Lia Thomas’ eleven world records. After backlash from sporting authorities across the globe, Guinness reversed its decision.
“Rather than add an asterisk, Guinness will vacate the record and give it, by default, to the next in line,” said Editor-in-Chief Joe Barron, “We regret that there had to be any discussion on the matter and look forward to putting it behind us.”
Thomas has eleven world records listed in the 2023 edition of the book, which will be the only edition that will have Thomas listed. Next year’s book will list the real record holder, along with an explanation of the mistake in the 2023 print version.
“This whole thing sounds more official than your traditional story,” said Barron, “By now, there should be something that gives it away other than all those fictitious records.”
Emma Weyent will take 6 of the records, and Riley Gaines will take the other five. Ms. Gaines says she’ll petition for a tie for one of them.
“Emma is trying to steal my moment,” she told Tomi Lahren in a desperate attempt to be the next her, “I won’t stand for it.”
Women’s swimming has never been more popular, patriots. God Bless America.
Just for the heck of it, why were this person’s accomplishments vacated?
‘Cos it’s womens swimming, not mens swimming.
Absolutely! But the shame to Guinness will never go away. They had so much respect. Before.
cos its satire, not actual news!
It’s not a world record if half the world’s population are excluded. A world record is a world record no matter the race, gender, sexuality, nationality or religion of the person.
that’s cool 😀 The site is satire though.
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