Superbowl Halftime Show Features Gay Dance Party

Oh my stars and garters, is the Superbowl gonna be a great one this year!  With multiplatinum artist Rihanna performing along with a host of surprise guests, the party is going to kick into overtime, as the stage will feature a huge gay dance party to celebrate LGBTQ awareness.

And don’t think it’s just for show!  Members of both the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles will also participate, strutting their stuff, breakdancing, and moonwalking their way to hopeful victories.

Superbowl grand marshall Joe Barron is dressed in a gold lame’ jumpsuit and connected via handcuffs to a colorful midget companion as he explains the entire fruity fiesta.

“It’s just going to be the most amazing thing anyone’s ever seen.  There will be Hollywood stars up there doing the Hustle, as well as professional body sculptors and skinny dippers.  Who, you might ask?  Can’t tell, but I’ll give you a hint.  Rhymes with ‘Neil Patrick FABULEROUS!”

This year’s halftime celebration was the dreamchild of homosexual entrepreneur Elon Musk, who donated two billion dollars worth of spangles and glitter to the cause.  He will be driving a pink Tesla across the field to begin the show.

And what of Rihanna?  She’s hopped up and ready to go.

“I can’t wait to get gay all over this giz-ame.  All you conservatives out there may just want to put some ice down your pants while we do what we do.”