Bill Gates Offers to Buy Twitter

Ever since billionaire Elon Musk bought the social media powerhouse Twitter, it’s been nothing but trouble.  Endeavoring to bring the first amendment and free speech back to the common man is a lot harder than he thought it would be.

Now help is arriving in the form of fellow billionaire Bill Gates, the Master of Microsoft.  He has requested a meeting with Musk to discuss the possible sale of the embittered communication app for a paltry, to them, one point two billion dollars.

On his part, Musk has been said to be considering the offer.  Looking upon the current Twitter feed under his ministrations is much like being in a room full of the scum of the earth.

Journalist and ice sculptor Sandy Batt got the story straight from Elon’s sound hole.

“I’m just about done with this whole Twitter thing.  I’d thought letting conservatives have their say would free up the planet.  But instead, it’s allowed them free reign to say the “N” word, talk nonsense about vaccines, and blather on and on about Biden.  I’m done.”

Gates, for his part, sees opportunity.

“There’s a whole nice infrastructure built there, along with an audience, like it or not.  I’d say keep it the same and start selling them stupid shit.  Like freeze some avocados and tell them they’re grenades.  Easy.  I’ll make a fortune.”

Will Musk take the deal?  He just might.  So much for free speech, huh?