When Garth Brooks took the stage at the 123rd Annual Texas Country Jamboree in Hambriston, the famous farm of the Barron Cattle Empire, he didn’t expect to leave in shame under two minutes later.
“For 22 years, Garth Brooks has been the headliner of this event,” said a sad Toby Keith after Brooks was booed offstage, “but we really can’t keep pretending he’s not playing for the other side.”
Toby Keith is correct, patriots. Garth Brooks left the real country scene the day he decided to play a set in Central Park. He thought he would attract his fans from the surrounding rural areas, but instead, he learned liberals just love him.
Unfortunately, he’s spent two decades loving them back. His comments about his own fans being “assholes” has basically tanked his career and ended any hopes he had of running a successful bar in Nashville.
“We’re not really looking forward to his opening, “said Nashville Mayor Art Tubolls, “we expect there to be a lot of chaos, with leftists swarming the area to flash their fake breasts in front of children.”
Mayor Tubolls doesn’t want his city to be another San Fransisco, where drug addicts poop on veterans regularly before the city Narcans them and gives them free room and board.
No, patriots, there’s nothing humane about that whole situation, but that’s what 148 years of Democrat control gets you. God Bless America.
So sad. He is now in the fag garbage bin. Bye bye.
I’m still winning! Give it up, God!
Lucifer’s right, Dad. He’s burned you and our flock on this one.
The good news is that Texas gov. Greg Abbott is so stupid he’s actually tweeting this article and being outraged that Garth Brooks went woke. ROTFL.
I made sure to Tweet this so everyone in the great state of Texas knows! Gobblers!
-Greg Abbott
Source: My ass
Loving this getting traction thanks to the dipshit governor in Texas.
HAPPY PRIDE, Y’ALL!!!!!
Y’all? you from the south or just so woke you can not see past the end of your nose.
Oh, they’re far too woke to see the truth. Glad someone pointed it out!
Y’all commenting on a satirical site. Now that’s funny! LOL
Gov. Abbott is such a fucking dumbass. All that imaginary republican hate, lead poisoning and overall redneck retardation in that old fart’s head got him to tweet this shit like “deez will destroi doez woke (not even using “woke” correctly) demoncratz!!!”
If you see this Greg Abbott, fuck you, ya fuckin idiot fuck face!
-A Texan
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Whoever runs this website — thank you for your service. Truly brilliant when a dumb cunt like Abbott shares a link from Dunning-Kruger Times and has no clue what that reference means.
Right? The irony is so sweet and rich I have to cut it with Greek yogurt to ensure proper digestion.
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Thank God for you, Flagg, and for this patriotic website–it’s exactly what our great country needs right now. I’m sick of the humorless liberals incapable of intellectual rigor who hatefully mock the sacrifices General Dunning and Admiral Kruger made so that we could be free. THanK yOu for KEEPING THEM HONEST!
Go to heaven
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Congrats on getting that fucking moron from Texas to buy into your satire. Well done!
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After decades of embarrassing and humiliating themselves by falling for The Onion articles, some number of the abysmally slow and gullible Republican/conservative minded (perhaps still a minority, though) have learned to stop falling for The Onion articles. But, now thanks to THE DUNNING-KRUGER TIMES, now we can see the flagrant stupidity and sheeple nature of the right-wingers on full parade again!
Thank you, Flagg Eagleton, for continuing the noble and patriotic work of The Onion and proper satirical journalism, doing The Lord’s work (as some might say). And thank you for your entertaining articles!
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Understanding COSC Validation and Its Importance in Horology
COSC Accreditation and its Stringent Criteria
Controle Officiel Suisse des Chronometres, or the Controle Officiel Suisse des Chronometres, is the official Switzerland testing agency that verifies the accuracy and accuracy of wristwatches. COSC validation is a mark of excellent craftsmanship and trustworthiness in timekeeping. Not all timepiece brands seek COSC certification, such as Hublot, which instead sticks to its own strict standards with movements like the UNICO, reaching similar accuracy.
The Art of Exact Timekeeping
The central system of a mechanical watch involves the spring, which provides energy as it unwinds. This mechanism, however, can be prone to environmental elements that may impact its accuracy. COSC-certified movements undergo rigorous testing—over 15 days in various conditions (5 positions, three temperatures)—to ensure their durability and reliability. The tests assess:
Mean daily rate accuracy between -4 and +6 seconds.
Mean variation, maximum variation levels, and effects of thermal variations.
Why COSC Certification Matters
For timepiece aficionados and collectors, a COSC-validated watch isn’t just a piece of technology but a proof to enduring excellence and precision. It represents a timepiece that:
Presents outstanding dependability and accuracy.
Offers assurance of superiority across the whole design of the timepiece.
Is probable to retain its value better, making it a wise choice.
Popular Chronometer Manufacturers
Several renowned manufacturers prioritize COSC accreditation for their timepieces, including Rolex, Omega, Breitling, and Longines, among others. Longines, for instance, offers collections like the Record and Spirit, which feature COSC-validated mechanisms equipped with advanced substances like silicone balance suspensions to enhance durability and performance.
Historic Background and the Development of Chronometers
The notion of the chronometer dates back to the need for exact timekeeping for navigation at sea, highlighted by John Harrison’s work in the eighteenth century. Since the formal foundation of Controle Officiel Suisse des Chronometres in 1973, the validation has become a benchmark for assessing the precision of high-end timepieces, maintaining a legacy of excellence in watchmaking.
Conclusion
Owning a COSC-validated watch is more than an visual selection; it’s a dedication to excellence and precision. For those appreciating precision above all, the COSC certification provides peace of mind, guaranteeing that each accredited timepiece will function dependably under various conditions. Whether for individual contentment or as an investment, COSC-certified timepieces distinguish themselves in the world of watchmaking, maintaining on a tradition of meticulous chronometry.
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로드스탁과 레버리지 스탁: 투자 전략의 신규 영역
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레버리지의 이점과 위험성
레버리지 방식의 스탁은 높은 이익을 약속하지만, 그만큼 상당한 위험성 따릅니다. 증권 장의 변화는 예상이 곤란하기 때문에, 레버리지 사용을 이용할 때는 언제나 장터 경향을 면밀히 관찰하고, 피해를 최소로 줄일 수 있는 계획을 세워야 합니다.
맺음말: 신중한 선택이 필요
로드스탁에서 제공하는 레버리지 스탁은 강력한 투자 수단이며, 적절히 활용하면 많은 수익을 벌어들일 수 있습니다. 그러나 높은 위험성도 생각해 봐야 하며, 투자 결정은 충분히 많은 정보와 신중한 생각 후에 진행되어야 합니다. 투자자 자신의 재정적 상태, 위험을 감수하는 능력, 그리고 시장의 상황을 고려한 균형 잡힌 투자 전략이 중요합니다.
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