Marvel’s “Phase Five” of comic book entertainment is in full swing, and with the rebirth of the troubled Fantastic Four franchise next up on the docket, they’re really hoping to come out swinging.

Actor Alec Baldwin, now free and clear from his accidental death lawsuit, (Which I said would happen, right on this page, probably a million times, but the lost-out-of-reality conservatives denied), was being considered for a big role.  Huge, in fact.  Galactus.

The man behind the Galactus helmet would be the villain of the picture, and Baldwin was a near lock for the part.  That is, until directorial assistant Sandra Batt got tired of him.

“We were on a sound stage, right, and there he is, all Galactus-ed out, constantly asking for espressos and tea cakes and stuff.  We couldn’t get a word in edgewise.  We couldn’t shoot.  At some point, he shit his Galactus pants.  I mean, come on.”

Shitting the pants of the Eater of Planets was only the beginning.

“He made his whole trailer into a ‘Nightclub for Boobie Girls’.  There was a bar and dance floor.  Nobody could sleep with the noise.  Then, he just started shooting shit outside.  That was a big nope.”

Baldwin was let go from the production last week and has told the press that the job just didn’t “mesh with what he wanted to do for the future.”. Right, Alec.


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