Bud CEO Doubles Down : ‘We Stand By Our Product’

If you’ve ever been lightly perusing the news lately, you’ve seen how much of a shellacking Budweiser beer has been taking.  Hiring a transgender “influencer” in order to go fully “woke” turns out not to be the best idea in the world.

But now CEO Ashton Prentiss Anheuser the third has doubled down on the massively expensive blunder in a press conference in Queefblastery, Pennsylvania yesterday.

“We at Budweiser fully stand by our product Bud Light beer,” he announced.  “We don’t care what the dumb, poor, fat and old Trump morons think about the advertising campaign.  Take your tired old person country music and stuff it up your ass sideways.”

Quite the expressive outburst from the beer company that lost hundreds of millions of dollars since the campaign began.  We asked beer expert Sandra Batt of the Barley Lovers of America to weigh in.

“It’s a shitty beer to begin with, full stop.  I mean, you could advertise it with Jesus Christ slobbering all over a bottle of it while convincing Fox executives to bring back ‘Firefly’ and it would still be a shitty beer.  Nobody cares.”

Well somebody cares.  In fact, millions of sots who apparently guzzle the sewer water like it’s manna from the Gods do.  One of those is shampoo taster Lewis Colon.

“It tastes like water filtered through a cow’s panties,” he opined.  “I mean, with that aftertaste, it might as well be called Forever Piss.”