Jane Fonda recently celebrated her 85th birthday this year, and that came, as it traditionally does, with an appearance on her friend Whoopi Goldberg’s morning show The View.  This time, however, among the typical tales of fame, came a dark revelation.

“I have acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, and it’s just a huge pain in my touchus,” said Fonda to a silent and shocked studio audience.  “I’ve had it for some time, and I’m just letting everyone know.”

Goldberg seemed taken aback by the news, and assured Fonda that she’d fare well, reminding her that in conservative American circles, AIDS didn’t even exist and was just a “government snow job.”

“Oh I know it’s another real life disease that Trump’s people are too dumb to believe in,” Hanoi Jane commented.  “But it’s for real.  Trump’s people are too stupid even to read this article.”

While it’s absolutely true that Barbarella does not, in fact, have AIDS, and that this satirical article is appearing on a satirical internet page where : “Nothing On This Page Is True”, many will read the headline and share anyway.  They’re just blumpkin snorters.

A blumpkin is just a really disgusting way to say “I love you”, man.

Expert media consultant Sandy Batt agrees with the ass plundering assessment.

“Trump’s idiot fan club and the Blue Hair Brigade will share and discuss the happiness they get from hearing this about ‘Hanoi Jane’, an alias they’ll bring up a million times.  Watch how much pleasure they get from hearing that someone has AIDS.”

And with that, we’ll add yet another dipshit checkmark to the conservative list.


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