President Trump has instructed FEMA to head back to North Carolina with more than $2 billion stripped from programs that fund welfare for illegals.
According to our source on the ground, ALLOD Journalisticator Tara Newhole, Trump was so moved by his visit that he decided he’d bypass Congress and any form of oversight and get the people of North Carolina the money they need.
“What happened here was terrible,” Trump told Newhole, “There were a lot of people who wanted to come and help but they were stopped at the border by the FEMA people and told they had to go back to Kentucky. They drove a long way and of course you know we did really well in Kentucky, so we’re looking forward to sending them some of the cash from the illegals as well.”
“I asked if he planned to seek approval from the House of Representatives,” said Newhole, “which is when he informed me that he’s not happy with this ‘power of the purse’ thing.”
“I think the power of the purse should reside with the President, since it’s up to me to spend it,” he explained, “Once they hand it to the Executive, it’s out of the other branches and with the boss. That’s me. I was the boss for a long time in New York and at my properties and some say I was the greatest boss ever. They said I inspired them to come to work and succeed and now many of them are millionaires because of me and my talents.”
“I have so many talents that I was once asked to do a show all by myself. They said ‘you could just do every act. Come out and juggle for a few minutes, then change your outfit and do some blowgun target shooting.’ I could have been the next Gallager the way I swung a sledgehammer let me tell you.”
We lost interest after “greatest boss ever,” patriots, but we hope you enjoyed the rest. Thank god for Trump. We are obviously saved.
God bless America.
