Goldberg is the New Face of Estee Lauder Beauty

“We are prestige beauty” is supposedly the tagline and mission statement of the Estee Lauder company.  They also value, on that same statement, “culture and values.”

Now does THAT sound anything like a company that would hire talk show gabber Whoopi Goldberg as their model, mascot, and spokesperson?  To me, it brings about the memory and consequences of Bud Light hiring Dylan Mulvaney.

Yes, you’ll now be seeing Goldberg’s face on advertisements for Estee Lauder products and in commercials across the spectrum of television.  Homosexual representative of the company Joe Barron made the announcement just last week.

“The Lauder corporation has gleefully decided to go a little bit woke, and hire super megastar Whoopi Goldberg to begin promoting our products.  She’s beautiful and outspoken, and we just can’t wait to feature her in our spots!  Fabulous!  Anyone have a light?”

The normally sedate and classy corporation is pouring millions into the new advertising blitz, and Whoopi has already begun wearing their eye shadow, mascara, and vagina putty on her hit show The View.

“Oh, the vagina putty is magical,” Barron beamed.  “What it does is massage and cleansify the applicated oyster ditch to really give it a professional shine.  It’s in stores now.  But not Walmart.  We only want normal women.”

The first boycotts of Estee Lauder have already begun in Tennessee, where vaginas are treasured as valuable drug hiding places as well as popular ventriloquist aids.