We were all baffled by Vice President Mike Pence’s decision to certify the election on January 6. None more so than President Trump, himself.

How could such a loyalist turncoat so quickly in the face of insurmountable evidence?  Now, we know why.

It turns out that Mike Pence has been on the take all along.  Democratic benefactor George Soros has been secretly funding Mike Pence’s political career for years.

From the moment he accepted Trump’s offer of the Vice-Presidency, Pence has never been a true Republican, much less a conservative.

Pence has consistently fought behind the scenes for the Democratic agenda, wielding his power in congress falsely against the constituents he was sworn to represent. 

The false bravado and heterosexuality he has displayed over the last four years has been unsheathed.  His failure to do his duty, as dictated by our constitution, has slipped aside his thong and revealed his true self.

Mike Pence is a pussy.

While most of America has suspected this for quite a while, like “duh,” it comes as a shocking surprise to many of his supporters.  The facade put up by the democrats on Pence’s behalf is unprecedented.

A false backstory and a staged home life hid his blatant homosexuality for years.  He flaunted his religious beliefs as bait to lure in an unsuspecting conservative base, all while plotting with the democrats to upend the election.

With his mission clearly accomplished, Pence could take whatever dignity he has left and walk off into the sunset, but it appears he will do just the opposite. These revelations have led to several opportunities for our soon to be former Vice-President. 

He’s being considered for several roles in upcoming movies by Netflix, as well as being offered many speaking engagements from arts colleges across the US. Based on his performance in the Trump administration, he should have no problems finding employment in the liberal media.

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