Elon Musk, the multi billionaire conservative Christian who has adopted America as his home and more importantly adopted American ideals, has entered into a new venture. Understanding the importance of bringing the Word to patriots far and wide, Elon Musk is backing the We The People Bible, which is available right now.

Musk, who is a major free speech advocate and purchased Twitter to make Twitter free again, is the sole financial backer in the Bible that is geared for patriotic Americans. Seeing how that Musk understands that he alone wasn’t responsible for his success, he wants you too to see the Bible for what it truly means.  The Bible was specifically written for America.

“This is truly my proudest moment” Musk said during an interview with the Dunning-Krueger Times’ very own Joseph Barron. “I am doing something nobody ever has, bringing the words of God, our creator, to the masses of Americans who believe in him most, the ones that understand that America’s greatness only comes from Jesus Christ, the King Of Kings”

Musk is including t-shirts, coins, Tchotskies and other meaningless, useless items to sell along with these bibles to the massively stupid people who already own a Bible, because he knows that these derelicts will buy anything with an American flag and a some mention of Jesus. The hope is this will offset some of the cost for purchasing Twitter, because he’s the only man is history to have ever lost $200 billion dollars.

This American version of the Bible will include the bill of rights, the constitution, the King James Version of the Bible and a blue checkmark for your Twitter handle. Conservative Americans will be thrilled that all of the things they have never read or will never read but pretend to be an expert in will have it all in one convenient place that they can ignore.  God bless America!!!


  1. Bob newhart

    If jesus saw people selling this bible in churches he would be flipping tables this is disgusting! Christianity is not just for Americans it’s for everyone! God doesn’t care where you are from God is not nationalistic!!

    • the satiremaster

      You do make a good point. Everyone should be able to access a bible, like some people in north Korea or poor African Christians. This site is satire though.

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