Movie megastar and legendary director Clint Eastwood collapsed on the set of his newest film “Charlie Horse” last night, being rushed to a nearby hospital and admitted into the cardiac wing.

The 92-year old actor and former Mayor was described by onlookers and coworkers as “fatigued and resembling a dried up old prune” after the incident as police and fire rescue personnel mobbed the scene.  Again, Eastwood is 92 goddamn years of age.

If someone asks you who’s older, King Kong or Dirty Harry, tell that punk you’re feeling lucky.

Movie extra Sandra Batt gave us details about what led up to the cinema giant’s collapse.

“We were shooting a scene in which Clint, starring as ‘Charlie Horse’, was about to fire Max (Alec Baldwin) from his dude ranch.  Baldwin was in method acting mode, and teally took it seriously, pulling out a gun and firing four to five shots into Clint.  Someone yelled ‘cut’, and then we broke for lunch.”

Hospital officials say Eastwood being literally “mowed down” during the shoot, along with his enormously advanced age, means he has little chance of surviving the event.  His doctor, Luis Colon, gave one spot of hope.

“What we’re doing is taking some blood from Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards,” he explained.  “We believe it may contain the regeneration properties necessary for Mr. Eastwood.  Who knows.  Throwing a tissue into the wind, right?”

Eastwood is currently resting uncomfortably and being forced to watch episodes of “Mama’s Family” in his room as this story develops.

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