Disney Loses 23 Million Subscribers Overnight After Trying to Cancel Elon Musk

The Walt Disney Company, which decided long ago that it would align itself with woke ideologies, just found out what happens when you mess with Americans and their freedom of speech.

After the company cut ties with Elon Musk because he mentioned the word “Pizzagate,” 23 million freedom-loving American patriots cut their ties with Disney Plus.

“It’s unprecedented,” said Disney’s head of marketing, Joe Barron, “we had no idea that many conspiracy theorists were tuned in.”

Musk is under fire for bringing up the theory that there’s a pedophilia trafficking ring in the basement of a pizza place in Washington DC that has no basement. Advertisers are concerned that they’ll be tied to the guy responsible if another lunatic shows up there and starts firing his assault rifle.

“He’s off his rocker,” said Barron, “And the sycophant blue-check army that thinks he’s the cat’s meow is nothing but a collection of Trumpster loyalist stooges.”

ALLOD Pizzafier Specialisticator Tara Newhole says she’s been to the place in question, and that there is definitely no basement. “You sent me there. For a large Hawaiian. Because you’re one of those weirdos. They laughed and told me if I could find the basement I’d win a million dollars. So either they’re telling the truth or they’ve paid a lot of money to conceal it.”

We’re not going to name the pizza place out of respect for reality. But if you know you know, and if you’ve been there, the onion rings are fantastic. God Bless America.