In the midst of a tragically depressing week, exclamation pointed by the sad and lonely death of Lynette Hardaway, the larger than life half of the duo “Diamond and Silk”, the light of tomorrow shines down on a small and calm spot.

In accordance with her written final wishes, Diamond is being prepared for interment in a small area just south of the eleventh hole at the sprawling Mar-a-Lago golf course.

A marker is being readied that will also feature a small ramp as a minor challenge to putters.

“Eleven was her favorite number,” said ex-husband and professional Fortnite player Joe Barron, who was with the corpse when it was last disrobed.  “She always used to say that human beings had eleven fun holes, and that each had Jesus in it.”

Former presidential mistake Donald Trump flew the whole family out to the estate for the funeral, expecting them to pay him back sometime in mid-April.  Both Diamond’s mother and father flew in baggage.

Trump himself had a few words to say before the traditional moving of the body into the burial boxcar.

“Diamond was a black woman who liked me and liked the things I did.  I don’t remember many of them.  Not too many.  But she liked them and was black, that’s for sure.  Right Silkster?  That’s what I call her.  Alright enough.  Let’s drop this cow and make America overweight again.”

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