Chicago Sky Releases “Unruly” DiJonai Carrington for Cause: “She’s Intentionally Disruptive to the Team”

The Chicago Sky terminated guard DiJonai Carrington’s contract “for cause” Thursday, citing what the team termed “intentionally disruptive conduct detrimental to organizational chemistry” in a statement that shocked WNBA observers familiar with Carrington’s All-Defensive Team performance last season. The release, which voids the remaining $197,000 on her contract, follows an internal investigation into unspecified “locker room incidents” and “excessive competitive intensity during practice sessions.”

General Manager Jeff Pagliocca told reporters that Carrington’s “refusal to moderate her defensive stance during scrimmages” and “repeated insistence on contesting every shot, including those taken by coaches during demonstrations” created what the team called “an unsustainable environment of athletic expectation.” The Sky have replaced Carrington on the roster with a veteran player described as “more accommodating regarding uncontested layups.”

“This is about culture,” said Joan Berro, a commercial team-building consultant who once attended a WNBA game in 2019 and now advises on “locker room harmony metrics.” “Carrington played hard. All the time. Even in warmups. I’ve built teams. In corporate settings. You don’t want someone trying too hard. It makes others feel bad. About their effort. The math is clear. One hundred percent effort divided by twelve players equals resentment.”

The “excessive intensity” charge, according to Reno Borja, a dental hygienist whose patient once played intramural basketball, centers on “fundamental disrespect for the concept of a walk-through.” “She contested a layup,” Benja explained, adjusting his mask. “In practice. Against her own teammate. Who was pregnant. Allegedly. Or tired. Or both. I’ve seen layups. In dental videos. Of patients. Falling. You don’t contest those. You let them happen. For team morale.”

Joe Barron, who once successfully completed a three-man weave in 2017 and now consults on “athletic behavioral compliance,” analyzed the termination’s necessity. “Intentionally disruptive,” Barron declared from his booth at a Golden Corral. “The key word. Intentionally. She meant it. The defense. The hustle. The eye contact. During huddles. Too intense. I’ve seen intensity. In buffet lines. For the last shrimp. This was worse. Because it was constant. During games. Which is inappropriate.”

Barron has offered to serve as the Sky’s new “competitive moderation coordinator,” provided the team allows him to wear his custom “Effort Management” whistle and bring his emotional support ferret, which he claims can detect “excessive hustle from the salad bar.”

Carrington’s agent called the release “retaliatory and pretextual,” prompting Barron to note that “defense is the first stage of disruption,” calculate that the statement was released at 4:44 PM, and observe that “4 plus 4 plus 4 equals 12, which is the number of players on a roster, divided by the number of acceptable defensive stances in modern basketball, which appears to be zero.”