Has your high school-aged son always wanted to wrestle girls his own age? Well, come January 1, 2023, he will legally be able to do so on his high school wrestling team in California.
California State Senator and fervent LGBTQ activist Scott Weiner passed a bill late last night in what was basically a secret vote known only to other LGBTQ supporters in the state legislature. Knowing he would get full support from Governor Gavin Newsom, it was easy to circumvent fellow legislators who may not have been sympathetic to his cause.
The vote was unanimous. As soon as the last vote was cast, the entire chamber sashayed in celebration. A local Sacramento DJ had been brought in to add to the festivities that went on well into the early morning hours.
DJ THEM! spun hits by such artists as Lady Gaga, Madonna, and The Scissor Sister. They even played that one song from the much-maligned Lance Bass solo album “Out of SYNC”.
Just when the party started to fade, a parade of drag queens entered the chamber led by Weiner himself, who made his drag debut as Ivanka Recount. Needless to say, they brought party favors and the legislators all gained their second wind.
Molly was popped and the cosmos were flowing. It was a party the likes of which the state capital building had not seen since the Ronald Reagan Ho-Down of 1968.
While this will surely outrage the more heterosexual states, it comes as no surprise that some Hollywood celebrities have already come out in support of the new gay law. Former “Taxi” funnyman and inter-gender wrestling legend Andy Kaufman released a statement from his home in Valhalla.
“I’ve always been ahead of my time. It’s nice to see a state like California finally catch up to me. I wrestled women and won. Now it’s time for these young men to claim their prize just as I did.”
What was once restricted to public restrooms in California will now be displayed on football fields and gyms all through the state. Your daughter could be snapping the football to your next-door neighbor’s horn-dog son under center.
Think about that, America. Just think about that.
