Elon Musk Buys ABC, Cancels The View

Elon Musk has done it again!

The new owner of Twitter doubled down on his recent media acquisitions by formally announcing a 37.5 billion dollar bid to buy ABC from its parent company, Walt Disney.

While exact details of the deal remain unclear, Disney has apparently agreed to the purchase.

Disney has has been struggling financially lately, primarily due to consumer boycotts of its storied theme parks in response to the woke culture and its embrace of the LGBTQ lifestyle. Parents all across the United States have refused to let their children be exposed to this filth and Disney has suffered greatly as a result.

Reportedly, Disney needed a cash infusion and had no option but to sell its stake in ABC in order to avoid bankruptcy.

An elated Elon Musk outlined his top priorities for his new company in a press release:

“This is only the next step in my effort to return American media to some level of sanity. For too long, the far left and elitist Hollywood have dominated the mainstream media. This has to stop, and I will make sure that it happens.

In furtherance of that goal, the very first thing I will do as CEO of ABC is cancel The View and fire the entire cast, especially Whoopi Goldberg. She’s gonna get fired twice. The show is an embarrassment and needs to go.”

Mr. Musk later added that he would replace the show with a variety show tailored towards a mainstream audience, featuring conservative figures and musicians such as Kyle Rittenhouse, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent, as well as commentary on the media and Hollywood by conservative actors, including James Woods, Clint Eastwood and Tim Allen.

It is unclear what is going to happen with all of the lawsuits brought against The View, although Kyle Rittenhouse hinted that he would drop the suit against Whoopi Goldberg if he became host of the new show and could personally escort her off the premises.