During a rare travelling art exhibition this weekend, a terrible act of vandalism was narrowly avoided, as police and museum authorities stopped several out-of-control protesters who had broken into New York’s Joeseph Barron Metropolitan Museum and were in the midst of attempting to set fire to Leonardo DaVinci’s priceless painting, The Last Supper.

Luckily, Leonardo DiCaprio’s painting “Sorry, I Hit Your Cat With My Car” was unharmed.

The world famous piece of artwork has been a feature of a secluded Italian convent in Milan, Saint Mary de Las Tetas Grandes, but recently joined the travelling exhibition at the behest of *President Trump, who reportedly wanted to see how many hamburders Jesus ate before he was “glued to a tree or whatever.”  The New York institution said the protesters bore signs reading “Christians Hate America” and “Apostle Paul Gave Me Crabs”, and stormed the museum’s entrance just after 10 a.m.

Security guards immediately called the police, who, after noting that nearly everyone involved in the art world was white, responded in just under two minutes, just barely stopping the marauders from setting fire to the painting.  Nearly a dozen were arrested and placed into custody in a large ice cream truck that the NYPD has been using for months after officer Frimperlutz commandeered it during a chase and never gave it back, because if you knew The Frimpster, that’s just how that crazy fucker rolls.

“Remember that time the Frimpster pepper-sprayed that chicken? Holy shit, that was friggin hilarious!  You believe that bitch SUED?”

Following the pattern of destruction suffered by statues of confederate figures, it appears that once again, Donald Trump was correct in assuming the violence and criminal activity would bleed over to religious icons.  In a way, you could say that it was actually *President Trump who saved the painting and the day here.  Now, if only he could manage to leave some American citizens alive to be able to appreciate it.


1 Comment

  1. Hello. I am Joe Biden. That chicken 100 percent deserved to get arrested, because I know dang well that when it dies it would make some excellent ass fried chicken. Also, about the painting, it’s flameproof.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *