Sources inside the Republican caucus have confirmed that Rep Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) doesn’t have the votes to become Speaker of the House. The Freedom Caucus, which controls more than 57 votes, backed out and wants someone new that people will respect.
“Nobody likes Kevin,” said Matt Gaetz, whose name is up as a top contender for the position, “he’s a California RINO.”
Democrats say they couldn’t care less which Republican rises to the occasion, since they all intend to spend the next two years revisiting Benghazi under the name “Hunter Biden’s Laptop.” Regardless of who wins, the outcome will likely be the same: Obstruction, investigations, and 42 attempts to repeal Obamacare.
McCarthy released a statement that says he believes he has the votes and that there really isn’t anyone else even close to capable of doing the job. “Jim Jordan is a clown,” said McCarthy, “and nobody wants anything to do with MTG and BoBo.
The vote for Speaker won’t take place until all the seats are officially filled. President Joe Biden said he’s willing to work with anybody, even though they just want to use the next two years to discredit him politically with independents.
“Hey look. And guess what? We can still get stuff done,” said Biden. McCarthy just shook his head and chuckled.
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