No sooner than they got back home, thousands of US troops now find themselves on the verge of once again being deployed to the middle east. The government of the Ukraine has requested US military assistance in securing several of its crude oil pipelines in Iraq, and their business partner, President Joe Biden, was more than happy to oblige.
Biden promised the Ukraine 350,000 troops, as well as several special operations divisions, to protect their assets. Not only does this reverse the troop recall overseen by President Donald Trump, but it also increases the number of boots on the ground by over 400 percent.
That’s four times more, for you and me. It will be the single largest US military deployment to a non-conflict zone in the history of our once-great nation.
Dubbed “Operation Padded Pockets,” this deployment will reintroduce us to some familiar faces of past US conflicts. One special ops unit will be helmed by the legendary David “Solid Snake” Plissken.
The former Green Beret has been recalled to active duty due to his expertise with stealth and espionage missions. His primary objective will be to thwart the efforts of the Tusken Raiders who threaten the pipeline, often attacking workers and robbing them of their wares.
Also making an appearance will be Colonel Conrad “Duke” Hauser. He is especially needed in this theater due to the abundance of cobras and asps that slither the desert.
His ability to defeat the venomous creatures is almost St. Patrick-esque in nature, and his mere presence is known to inspire awe and passion amongst our fairer sexed troops.
One thing of note is that this will be the first time US troops are deployed via executive order instead of an act of congress. While many in Congress, even Democrats, do not agree with this decision, they are all too afraid of Clinton henchmen to take any action against it.
The USO has already tapped Canadian stars Avril Lavigne, Justin Bieber, and Drake to perform for our soldiers this spring.
